Coloring Out Loud was my brother’s genius at play. I had created a logo (much like the one you see on my blog now), resembling a coffee ring. So Rowd got to work brainstorming a blog name for me. He presented “Coloring Out Loud” and bam, it clicked. On the surface, it may seem simple. But there are many reasons and meanings behind my cutesy title.
Let’s start with the first word – coloring. My logo is a ring of color (I chose pink, because duh) but you will see different colors come and go depending on my topic, the time of year, etc. Thus, color ring.
Second, I am a black and white type person. I mean that in the sense that not only are my house and wardrobe mainly black and white, I don’t do grey and I don’t do color. There is a right and wrong answer to everything to me, and I don’t consider myself to be a creative or artistic person.
This blog is intended to challenge me to step out of the black and white – to give myself and others a vibrant, honest, refreshing account of the black and white, the mundane, the blah. I need more color in my life, as well, I’m sure, does everyone else. I hope to be that color for you.
Now for the second part – out loud. If you know me, you know I am very introverted. I don’t like noise, crowds, leaving my bed or my house. I am totally ok staying inside all weekend with a book and coffee (until it’s time for wine), and never checking my phone. I am a homebody, and I will cancel plans on you without a second thought. Boy, am I charming. Out loud makes me step out of the quiet. While I think it is ok to be an introvert and want to keep to myself, that is not what God put on my heart. More about that next.
When I was in high school, I struggled with depression. I will touch on this topic later in this blog’s life, but for the moment let’s table that story. I made mistakes, as does every teenager, and I had a hard time coping with them. I often thought “Why me, God? Why do I have to have this story? Why is this my plot in life?” Again, more on this later.
I went to a Christian teen conference with my church youth group amidst my struggle. At said conference, we were asked to write three words on our hand that described what we had gotten out of the day or what God was leading us to or what we wanted to pray for. My three words: “found my purpose.” After much internal turmoil and prayer, God told me that my struggles were to be used to communicate to others that it’s ok to hurt. It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s ok to question. “It’s ok to not be ok.”
For years, I told myself that I misheard the Big Guy. I made it up. He wants me to be a banker. He wants me to be a teacher. Surely there’s someone more fit to talk to people.
Nope. It’s me. I heard him right.
So now I’m doing it. I am saying all the things in my head out loud. I’m sharing my story out loud.
And lastly, if you think about the phrase “coloring out loud” it doesn’t make sense. Coloring is a visual thing – out loud is an auditory thing. The two parts don’t mesh. They don’t add up. But I love it.
You can’t actually color out loud.
But I’m about to.